I recently watched a movie called "Young Adults" with Charlize Theron. I would tell you to go see it, but I'm going to summarize it for you now simply because I know you're a lazy shit and won't go see it anyway.
Jist of the story: Popular pretty girl Mavis Gary grows up to be an ex-famous young adult fiction writer living in the "big city" of Minneapolis. Despite the fact that she is still gorgeous, she is an alcoholic loser who is divorced and goes out to bars to fuck dudes to remind herself how pretty she is. She finds an old mixed tape that her old beau made and decides to stalk him in the town she grew up in. She finds out he's married with a baby and goes for it anyway, ends up pissing off a lot of people she used to go to school with and looking crazy and pathetic, fucks a crippled dude, then goes home with the thought in her mind that she is still better than everyone else. The end.
This made me think about my short time at PAHS, and my time at PAMS. I fucking hated every second of it. It me think of all the "popular" kids at my school, and how ignorant they really were/are. Kids really don't give a shit about who you are or what you can do. If you have something about you they don't like, kids will torture you verbally and physically until you want to kill yourself or go nutso and kill everyone else. When I heard about Columbine, I was sad, but I understood. Yes, those kids that killed everyone were nutso, but did you ever think about what their experience was? You think "oh, they got made fun of for being different, that doesn't excuse them killing everybody!". But do you REALLY know what they went through before they made that decision?
Have you ever been tortured in school? If you say "no" then you lucked out and got a great school, or you were one of the popular assholes that made fun of everyone else and probably deserved to be shot. There were days when I was on the verge of killing myself because how bad I was tortured. My pants were pulled down every day, books were knocked out of my hand every day on purpose, I got made fun of in class and the TEACHERS played along with it and laughed at me, I couldn't go anywhere without someone saying something asinine to me, and I was having a rough time at home too. I am a better person now after going through that, but I would never, ever want that to happen to my daughter ever. To this day I am surprised I didn't end up freaking out and severely hurting one of my offenders.
Walking around Reeves park in the midst of the fair the other day reminded me of that high school experience as well. I saw fourteen and fifteen year girls dressed like hookers, leaning on boys that looked stupid enough to have a long-term career at McDonald's - but THEY were the POPULAR ones! I don't understand it! Why does our society hold popularity in such high regard and cast all others aside? It doesn't matter if you are smarter than every kid in your class or if you have given all of your free time to charity, unless you are popular, YOU ARE SHIT.
Even worse, I saw some of the "popular" people that I used to school with and they were ALL THE SAME. The SAME pieces of shit, never changed. And even though I know damn well they saw me, I walked right past them and flipped them off. I don't care if people can change, I still remember every goddamn word they said. Time doesn't erase that.
I fear for my daughter. I fear that she'll be me in school. Or even worse, I fear that she'll end up popular and pretty and stupid. I don't want that. I don't want her to ever cut another person down because they aren't like her. I want her to learn to accept and tolerate others. I know no matter what I teach her, society will dictate otherwise. But I do know, that if she comes home crying because she was bullied in school, and the school or the kid's parents do nothing about it, I will give my daughter full permission to fuck up that kid physically. I don't give a shit if you think that's wrong. Bullies like that need to be a taught a lesson, and the only lesson that can be remembered at that age is violence. If my kid can't do it, I will do it for them. I will straight on knock a fucking fouteen year old out, no problem. If necessary, I will knock out their parents as well, for raising such a snotty piece of shit and not taking care of it sooner. I will probably end up in jail, but it will be worth every day behind bars.
I know this isn't the normal, funny, story-type blog you are used to, but there is some straight-up sizzling anger in my heart that I needed to get out.
Dear Parents,
Don't encourage your kids to be assholes. Don't tell them that being different is wrong. If you see them being mean to other kids, take them down a notch and remind them that they make mistakes and have faults too. Don't let your fourteen year old girl out of the house in hooker clothes. Don't let your thirteen year old boy dress like a gangster or a fucking moron. Don't let them out of the house unless they get good grades. Don't let them talk back to you, and teach them respect. This is easier said than done, but what you teach your child not only has an effect on them, but everyone around them. Remember that.
Love,
A person who is still slightly fucked up by her past
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